Exit Stage Left
by SheWhoTangles
Summary: With every door that closes, more open. The door is closing with Josh on the other end.  Additional chapters follow picking up our after the L.A. trip in hot water, and eventually danger as well.  Feel like part of the hive mind after the season finale.
1. Chapter 1

**Exit—Stage Left**

Kate stared at the storyboard with her wine in her hand. So much had happened, and she was so close now to finally and completely solving her mother's case. Even though she was waiting for Josh to arrive after his shift, her mind wasn't focused on him at the moment or her mother's case. Kate's thoughts were filled with Castle. Trying to sleep had become a cruel joke the last few months. Every night, her mind raced with rerunning moments but with strange twists on the actual events that bordered on nightmares...

_Castle holding her in the freeze_r as she spoke what she thought were her dying words of love to him, only to suddenly have Josh mysteriously take his place in the dream looking in her eyes instead as Castle's name rolled from her frozen lips and Josh shattered into tiny icy pieces.

_Castle holding her hand_ as he pulled the wires from the bomb once again, and the strange explosion that replaced him with Josh invoking a shocked "No!" from her as she yanked her hand from his grasp and began calling out for Castle, in her dream and in her sleep.

And last night, her nightmare about _going to the movies with Castle_ to see _Forbidden Planet_ and the way he suddenly started kissing her when the robot started walking out of the movie screen. But the robot didn't stop like the man in the parking lot the night they saved Ryan and Esposito. Instead the robot grabbed Castle from the seat and her embrace, dragging him into the movie screen with no one else in the theater to help but Josh sitting next to her in the other seat complaining about the butter on the popcorn not being good for her health, oblivious to the danger Castle was in.

And now. Castle was in her mind full-force while she was wide awake. Kate's lips touching the wine class invoked intense memories of Castle's incredible kissing ruse that left her tingling and light-headed before they rushed in to save the guys… that sound in his voice when he said 'amazing' echoing in her ears as they ran up the steps into the building with pounding hearts to save the guys.

The doorbell rang, startling her into nearly spilling her wine. Kate closed the window shutters to the storyboard and walked to the door wondering why Josh wasn't using his key to come in.

"Josh?" she asked through the door.

"Yeah, who else would you be expecting at this hour?" Dead silence and an edge of sarcasm hung in the air for a few minutes before Kate opened the door, ignoring Josh's question. She walked across the room to the table expecting Josh to follow her in.

"Why didn't you use your key?" She asked turning around, but Josh wasn't standing behind her. He closed the door behind him slowly, quietly, and then reached into his pocket, pulling the single key out no longer attached to his key ring. He walked across the room away from her direction, and tossed the key gently on the counter. The metal echoed with a hollow sound. Kate registered the implications immediately.

"We need to talk." He put his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket and stayed at the counter, maintaining the distance between them, his helmet dangling from his arm by its strap.

"Let me guess." Kate looked down, hiding the hurt in her eyes. "You've decided to go back to Haiti."

"My work there isn't done. What I do is important to me, you know that. I know you wanted me to stay for us to try and really make this work. But since then, I've realized I'm not ready to settle down. I still want to see the world, Kate. I still want to change it for the better. You have your career. It is part of who you are, the same way my career is who I am. I'm not ready for what you want. I'm not ready to sacrifice part of that dream for something else."

"If this is about going to LA last week, I understood that you couldn't just leave to fly there with me. You had patients and surgery; people were depending on you. Chasing criminals isn't your job, it's mine."

"Chasing _that one_ wasn't your job, or Castle's for that matter… but you had to do it." Silence again hung in the air between them. Josh stood there looking at her from across the room, still standing next to the counter, his hands still in his jacket pockets. His face was expressionless like he had been practicing what he was about to say all day.

"If it's Castle…" Kate started, but Josh's hand went up in a stopping motion and he closed his eyes to dismiss the irritating thorn of Richard Castle.

"This isn't about him," he said calmly and steadily. "I'm talking to you about _us_, not being ready to be _us_. I care about you, Kate; but I realized that I care about my career more right now. Just working at the hospital isn't enough for me, and I'm really not sure we fit very well into each other's lives at this point in time anymore. We are trying to force something that shouldn't need to be forced."

Kate set her glass down and folded her arms in front of her trying to retain her composure. "When are you leaving?"

"I decided quite a while ago, and made the arrangements then. I'm leaving early tomorrow morning. I'm already packed. I just hadn't figured out how to tell you before now, and now I have to. I'm sorry. I thought we would have talked this over sooner. but you've been so busy with your mother's case and…" Kate looked down trying to hide the tears as his voice trailed off not finishing his sentence, but it was no use. The silence between them felt like a canyon in the room. Kate didn't, couldn't move. Josh finally approached her and wrapped his arms around her in a final hug. She closed her eyes, her tear-streamed cheeks brushing against his face. Josh kissed Kate on the forehead and then touched his forehead to hers. "I think you have a lot to figure out right now." Kate tried to swallow the lump in her throat to speak as he turned away. _Castle, he means Castle_. By the time she looked up, Josh was already standing by the door about to leave.

"I thought you'd be here with me when I finally solved my mother's case," she said with a sobbing voice. "I thought we could put that part of my life to rest at last, together. I thought I'd start a new chapter of my life with you." Josh paused with his hand on the door handle as Kate stared at his back.

"I know, and I really want that for you. But... I also know _you won't be alone, Kate_…" Josh paused in his words, about to say something, but shakes his head instead and takes a deep breath. "You know _Castle_ will be here for you." Josh turned back and looked at her intensely, eye-to-eye for the first time since he had arrived. "He loves you." The door closed behind him with a click.


	2. Chapter 2

**STAGE CHANGE**

Castle poured the eggs for Alexis's omelet into the pan as she chatted with Martha about the acting school. He gave the egg in the pan a little swirl and replaced the pan on the burner without really looking. His sight was inward, not outward, rerunning Kate's every word in his head. They had made a huge leap, at least compared to his usual silence, but he had been losing his ability to keep what was stirring inside restrained as he had before. This past year everything had escalated between them. _"Facing death together with you time and time again has shown me…"_

"Richard!"

"Dad!" Alexis grabbed the flaming pan and tossed it into the sink, turning on the water and filling the room with a burnt omelet haze. The kitchen smoke alarm went off, and Alexis reached for a towel to wave in front of the shrilling box, simultaneously grabbing the ringing phone competing with the alarm, "NO, IT'S FINE. I'M SO SORRY." Castle reached up and flicked the switch to turn off the alarm, his mother glaring at him open-mouthed from across the kitchen. "YES," Alexis said too loudly, quickly lowering her voice with the silenced alarm and attempting to sound calm to the angry voice on the other end. "Yes, we're throwing out the pans and eating breakfast out for the rest of week. Oh… right… Friday," she said shrugging to her dad and grandmother. "All weekend then, and all next week, too. Yes… yes, we will." She hung up the phone and turned, joining her grandmother in glaring at her father with concern, tossing the towel into the sink with the smoldering pan, and crossing her arms across her chest.

"Richard, are you okay?" Castle still coughing, jerked his gaze in his mother's direction. "This is the third cooking incident this week. What is wrong with you?" Martha's tone wasn't a joking one.

"I know, I know. I'm fine," trying to wave off the incident with the remnants of smoke in the room. "I'm still trying to write my speech for the fundraiser tonight. I can't seem to find the right words, I'm stumped. With no cases to work on and Beckett still on desk duty, I haven't had the usual distractions or inspiration around."

Alexis just shook her head at her dad in disbelief. "I'll grab something at school again." She grabbed her bookbag off the kitchen stool and swung it on her back. She walked over to her dad, bouncing up on tiptoe to kiss him goodbye on his cheek. "Try not to burn the loft down before I get home today," she said to him jokingly with a soft, concerned smile.

"Scout's honor," he said softly back. "No more cooking the rest of the week." He face tried to look reassuring, but his tone of voice didn't have the same witty sparkle it usually had.

"I'm worried about you, Dad."

"Don't be, I'm fine. Things will go back to normal after the fundraiser tonight." He gave her another, more convincing smile and kissed Alexis on her forehead. "See you later tomorrow after the fundraiser."

"Maybe I shouldn't stay overnight at…"

"I'll be fine. See you tomorrow morning with breakfast takeout." Alexis shot Martha a glance as she headed by and out the door for school. Martha turned and watched her granddaughter go. Castle walked over to the counter across from his mother and picked up his coffee from the counter. Martha spun around, her eyes ignited with anger.

"All right, Richard! Spill it!"

"What? There's nothing to spill." Castle was such a lousy liar. That was how Beckett saw right through him after giving Alex the hazing at the poker game, that first time she said 'always' to him, and in L.A. when..

"Yes there is, young man! You're already doing it again!" Martha sternly reprimanded him. "You can't even keep your mind on our current conversation!" She reached out and put her hand over his empty hand on the counter, squeezing it as if to hold on to his attention physically while restraining herself. "Richard, I've never seen you like this before. I'm worried about you. What's going on?" The tremor in her voice mirrored the worry and concern in her eyes. "Did something happen with Kate in L.A. _You can tell me_."

Castle put his coffee down on the counter and looked at his mother's face. Her concern was genuine. He tore his eyes away from hers and rubbed his hands up and down his face, over his eyes. But he couldn't wipe away the lack of sleep he hadn't had since they got back. He just leaned down with his elbows on the counter, his hands covering his mouth and his mind back in rewind: his mother watched his brows knit together, once again in his own world.

Montgomery had sent a car to pick them up at the airport and bring them directly to the station after their plane landed. They had flown the whole way back saying very little, just holding hands from time to time. No one approached Castle for autographs or to fawn. The two of them had an aura about them that said 'keep away,' giving them some rare privacy one last time. Beckett had rested her head on Castle's shoulder trying to sleep on the flight, but she didn't. Castle didn't want to miss a second of Kate so close to him. They seemed so comfortable there together, head resting on head, knowing whatever music they were about to face back home, they would face together. But when the plane landed, the two-man police escort seemed less than friendly to both of them.

It was like they stepped into some other kind of reality the second their feet touched New York soil. The drive to the station was uncomfortably quiet with the only signs of normal life in the few text messages exchanged with Alexis on the way. They seated Beckett in front and Castle in back, keeping them deliberately separated. Castle couldn't engage anyone in conversation no matter how hard he tried. The one glare from Beckett, turning to look at him from the front seat, firmly told him to be quiet. She was bracing for the worst. She kept her eyes looking in front with her usual bravado, but Castle knew her better and suspected what might be going on in her head throughout the silent drive.

Immediately on arrival at the station, they were escorted into the 12th Precinct straight to Montgomery's office-and the second world feeling didn't fade there. Montgomery screamed at them both for going rogue, no matter what the results. That man had a healthy set of lungs on him! Montgomery stifled every word they tried to utter with his angry fingerpoint. He specifically told Castle not to come to the station or to even speak to Beckett until the fundraiser. His situation at the 12th Precinct was at Montgomery's discretion, and Richard Castle was persona non grata. Montgomery didn't want to see or hear the word Castle for a while-a long while.

Beckett was put on desk duty until further notice. Neither were permitted to say anything other then a unified 'yes sir' before Castle was told to _go home until further notice_. Montgomery kept Beckett in his office. Castle and Beckett exchanged one last look before Rick had to leave the room. Beckett gave him the nod; _she was okay and ready for whatever was about to happen_. They had had _that_ talk before coming back, _among others_. Montgomery closed the door on Castle's heels, closing him off from Beckett completely with a slam. Ryan and Esposito were not allowed to speak to Castle and an officer escorted him downstairs to another police car to take him home to the loft—also on Montgomery's orders.

"Richard!" Martha's voice jarred him out of his rewind yet again. She reached up pulling Castle's hands away from his face. _"Did something happen with Beckett?"_

"Mother," he said exasperated, closing his eyes-afraid to betray anything. "It's complicated," he said softly.

"Did you?" Martha asked with a raised eyebrow and a quizzical smile.

"No!" He said too quickly, "No, mother, not that." Martha look deflated, but her son's expression and face did not lighten. No joke, no wiseass comment. It was serious.

"Did you tell her? Does she feel the same way?"

"Yes, no, it's complicated. I don't know. I haven't spoken to her since we came back. We're not allowed to talk to each other at the moment. I can't risk getting her thrown off the force to find out what's going on in her head."

"But you've texted each other…"

"Only for the purpose of the fundraiser. The dean of the school is handling most of it. We can't talk about…" he didn't mean to stop his sentence there, but truly he didn't know what was going on. He couldn't finish it.

"What?" asked Martha. Castle just shook his head. He wasn't ready to talk to anyone about anything until he saw Kate again. Nothing would make sense to him again until he could speak to Kate. Castle closed himself off, putting on his 'everything's fine' act.

"Don't worry about me, Mother. I'm fine. You better head off or you are going to be late."

"But…"

"I'll order takeout, write, and then get ready for the fundraiser. I'll pick up my clothes on the way and see you there later tonight. No matter what, I have a speech to write. And I can't do that with you here distracting me."

"Richard Castle… you are an awful liar." Castle looked up with a sad, but brave little smile. "I know better than to try cracking a rock. If you want to talk to me, you know where to find me." Castle nodded a yes.

Martha bustled around the room for several minutes and then headed out with a 'bye dear' following her out the door with her usual exit wave. Castle refilled his coffee cup and placed himself in his favorite writing spot. Two hours later, his coffee was stone cold and the screen was still blank.

The last time he had writer's block this bad, he met Katherine Beckett and his entire world changed. What was he in for this time?


	3. Chapter 3

**PREGNANT PAUSE**

Castle sat staring at the computer screen. _Thank you all for being here this evening to honor the memory and contribution of Johanna Beckett. It was through the meeting of her incredible daughter, Kate _

As quickly as he fingers extracted her name from his mind, he was lost again. Every version he typed had come out about Kate, not her mother. Everything he wanted to say to Kate since L.A. just kept tumbling out over and over again onto his screen. He kept printing the versions out, erasing the screen, and starting over. He thought picking up his tux early just to get out would help clear his head, but it hadn't worked. He just needed a starting point and then he could ad lib the rest. Keep it light, keep it short, and keep it about Johanna. With another fresh screen, he started again.

_Thank you all for coming together tonight and for helping us in honoring an amazing woman I now know through her equally amazing daughter, Detective Katherine Becket of the NYPD. To help ensure the legacy of Johanna's dream and her never ending quest to discover the truth, I am happy to be instrumental in creating this scholarship in coordination with Dean Parker to ensure that such a vision in another bright, beautiful, sexy, kissable, detective that smells like cherries dkei dke jd kleiod _

Castle's cell phone went off as he banged on the keys in frustration typing gibberish. He hit the print button to add yet another draft to the pile, and erased his screen again. He grabbed his phone and bit his lip when he saw he had a text message, from _Beckett_.

Can I hitch a ride with you?

Too nervous to drive myself.

Castle raised an eyebrow. He had to ask. He held his breath as he entered letters and pressed send.

Not coming with Josh?

A whole four minutes passed before she responded.

Josh and I are over.

"Yes!" Castle jumped up and flipped his chair over knocking the speech draft printouts all over the floor. _When? How? It didn't matter. Josh was out of the picture and that meant… _ He was trying to resist the urge to dance so he could text… "Play it cool, Castle," he said to himself outloud.

Should I bring the Ferrari?

Beckett returned his text quickly this time.

Do you have any other car?

Castle furrowed his brow as he texted back recalling the last time she drove his car.

Do I get to drive?

This time, she took several minutes to respond.

Only if you put the top up.

Top up? Then he realized.

Right, hair. Deal. Be there at 5.

Beckett immediately responded.

4:00. Friday traffic. See you then.

Elated, Castle's empty computer screen filled effortlessly, speech complete, saved, and printed. He was showered and dressed in record time. He just needed some help with his tie which he rolled up and tucked into the pocket of his jacket. He grabbed the speech printout reading through it once more.

_Thank you all for being here this evening to honor the memory and contribution of Johanna Becket. I came to know of the dedication of Johanna Becket through my friendship with her amazing daughter, Detective Katherine Beckett of the NYPD, who has been recognized time and time again for her own contributions in bringing the guilty to justice. It is their joint contribution that has inspired me to ensure the legacy of Johanna Beckett's dream and her never-ending quest to discover the truth, to defend the innocent, and to pursue justice. _

_In the memory of Johanna Beckett, I am happy to create this scholarship in coordination with Dean Parker to ensure that another such woman sharing their special vision for justice not go unrealized. I would also like to personally thank Detective Katherine Beckett for the dedication and commitment she has demonstrated for the city of New York by presenting her personally with this check to begin our event this evening. _

He folded his speech, grabbed the check ofF his desk, and put them in his jacket pocket with his tie. Grabbing his keys, Castle gleefully headed to Beckett's.

Castle knocked on Beckett's door, holding a bouquet of flowers.

"Be right there!" came her voice from the other side of the door. When she opened it, Castle caught his breath. She was beautiful with her hair swept up leaving tendrils she could twirl and toy with all evening. Her dress was a long form-fitting off the shoulder gown in a stunning green that made her own green eyes seem to glow. "Castle? Are you going to speak?"

"You're beautiful."

"Thank you, you're sweet," she said blushing. Castle remained motionless in the doorway just drinking in his first site of Beckett since he was escorted from the 12th two weeks ago. "Are those for me?" She motioned to the flowers. Castle nodded still dumbstruck. "Are you coming in?" Castle nodded again, handing Kate the flowers and walking into the apartment. She closed the door and went into the kitchen to put the flowers in a vase. She set them on the counter on the very place Josh had left his key the week before. The sudden thought of Josh caught her by surprise and a little sad.

"Are you okay?" He asked catching the change of her expression.

"Yeah, just a little nervous about tonight," she said clearing her throat and shaking off the though of Josh. "No tie?" she said pretending to fuss with the flowers. "I thought tonight was formal?"

"Oh yeah, Alexis and Martha usually help me with my tie, but…" he said extracting his rolled tie from his pocket and pulling out the folded speech and donation check with it. They tumbled to the floor and they both reached for it, their faces only inches away from each other. Castle drank in the scent of her and they both stood up, the folded documents in Beckett's hand.

"What's this?"

"My speech and contribution for tonight."

"May I?"

"Please…" Their eyes lingered for a few minutes, before Beckett broke eye contact, unfolding the speech, and reading it. She didn't look at the check, only tucked it inside the folded paper.

"Thank you, Rick, for what you are doing for my mom tonight." She took a step closer to him, dangerously close, and slipped the folded paper into his jacket pocket.

"Anything." Beckett smiled and slid the tie from his hands. She deliberately slid the tie through her hand and motioned for him to bow down his head.

Castle leaned his head down as she slipped the tie around his neck and under his collar. Castle was uncharacteristically quiet as she tied the tie around his neck. The act was simple and incredibly intimate at the same time. He couldn't take his eyes off of her, standing so close to him, her hands grazing his shirt as she worked. She slid the knot up to his neck, smoothing down his collar neatly with her hands, letting one hand slide down to smooth the tie against his shirted chest and the other to slide down the front of his shirt. He swore he could feel her touch through the fabric of his shirt, audibly catching his breath.

"I think you're more nervous than I am tonight."

"I think you might have something there." The glint in her eye suggested she knew very well the effect she was having on him, and she was enjoying it. But Castle was in no rush this time. They had plenty of time now that Josh was no longer in the picture, standing between them.

"Ready to go?"

"Anywhere."

"Good, I've got the keys," she said laughing and dangling them in her hand as she strutted to the door, snapping him out of his stupor.

"Beckett!" he said following behind her. "You said I could drive!"


	4. Chapter 4

**PROP CHECK**

In the Ferrari, Castle had hoped to dazzle Beckett with his driving skills again, but with Beckett behind the wheel all he could do was hold on and marvel as she wove in and out of traffic. They arrived on time making a striking entrance together. The green of Beckett's off-the-shoulder gown matched her eyes beautifully, making them dazzle even more, and Castle was at a loss for words as he took in the sight of her once again. He dashed around to the driver's side of the car and held out his hand for hers. Beckett laughed and let him take her hand as she stepped out from behind the driver's seat. Their eyes locked in the way that had been happening so often lately, and Beckett had that same faraway look in her eye that Castle wanted to understand. _Dare I hope…_

Castle had to force himself to move instead of happily melting into the moment and forgetting the rest of the world around them. The valet offer to take the keys from Beckett breaking the pair's gaze. Castle guided Kate inside the building with his hand at the small of her back without even realizing he was doing it. It felt so natural, the two of them walking in someplace together. But there was so much to talk about, so much he wanted still to say—especially with Josh out of the picture now—and much Castle wanted to ask. He meant what he had said on the couch, and Castle really wanted to say a lot more—timing_! If only…_

Inside were people swarming everywhere, mingling or arriving for the fund raising event. There were lots of 'off duties' from the 12th Precinct supporting Beckett, Martha with a collection of her acting friends, and a very happy group of representatives from the school. The dean whisked Beckett off in a whiff of green fabric and nervous smiles to introduce her to members of the board, while Martha slipped her arm around Castle's and gently directed him about introducing him to her friends and acting associates.

"Feeling better now that you've finally had a chance to see your muse in the flesh again?" Castle smiled a very happy smile, and Martha had to give him a playful swipe. "You really are a true romantic…" Martha finally released him to find her friends leaving Castle his first chance to talk to Esposito, Ryan, and Lanie since he had spotted them at the event. But the eternity of chattering wasn't over yet, as the Dean waved to him from across the room, stepping up to him just as he placed himself in front of the silent trio.

"You look like you could use a breather, Mr. Castle." said the dean.

"No, not at all. I just caught up with a few friends here I haven't had a chance to talk withfor a couple of weeks." His three cohorts exchanged glances with each other and him.

"We're getting ready to begin," said the dean. "How about I escort you and your friends through the back corridor of the auditorium. It will get them to their seats without being jostled, and I can get you to Beckett who is anxiously awaiting you on the stage. She seems to think you might get lost without some assistance."

"You need to be there for my girl, Castle." said Lanie. The guys shushed her, but she waved her hand at them. "I'm not under orders to ignore him, you all are. My girl needs a strong arm to hold, and he's it." Her comment was to both of her colleagues, but she was looking at Esposito with that don't-mess-with-me look.

Castle smiled his most boyish look with an extra twinkle in his eye when he spoke back to Lanie. "I'll take of her." Lanie rolled her eyes at him.

"You wish."

The dean, looking slightly confused, led them to a side door in the lobby marked STAFF ONLY and they followed her into an unpainted hallway. "It's a bit of an odd path at the moment," she said passing a taped stairwell as she walked. "We are working on remodeling and repairs; but most of the current construction and repair work is happening in the balcony areas." She paused to point up the stairwell of another taped stairwell going up. "They are all original parts of the old auditorium. That's why we've put the tape across the stairwells leading up to them. They are quite the mess at the moment." A young gentlemen called the dean by name from behind the group, and she excused herself for a few moments to speak to him.

"So, Castle," Lanie whispered. "Have you really not spoken to Beckett since Montgomery threw you out of the station."

"I was escorted out," he corrected; Ryan and Esposito snorted.

"Right," she said shooting the guys a strict look. "So you haven't heard anything about the letters?"

"Letters, what letters?" Castle asked her. The guys expressions changed quickly to something more serious, detective serious.

"Threats sent to Beckett about doing the fundraiser and bringing up the topic of her mother's murder into the media again." Castle was instantly concerned. The dean continued a rather animated argument with the young man not far from them, glancing at her watch as they spoke. Another person joined the pair and the talk became more lively. Castle looked over at the dean wondering if she knew about the threats, and if that was the real reason she was winding them through the back hallways of the auditorium before turning his attention back to his friends from the station.

"Does Beckett know?" he asked looking at the guys. Both of them looked away scratching behind their ears avoiding eye contact. "She didn't say anything when I went to pick her up," he said to Lanie, and she certainly didn't hint there was something wrong while she was doing my tie…" The guys raised their eyebrows, and Lanie slapped Esposito with the back of her hand because he was standing next to her. Annoyed with them, she continued.

"Uh-huh, she knew. And you know my girl isn't going to let a few threatening letters stop her from doing something. The dean offered to go on as planned without Becks, but she thought it might hurt the results for the fundraiser."

"So that's why so many officers are here armed…" The boys smiled because they knew Castle wouldn't have missed that detail. Ryan handed Esposito and Lanie some money. Both of the guys each pulled open their jackets to show Castle their holstered guns as well.

"But we are going to be on a stage in front of an auditorium full of people!" The alarm in his voice betrayed his concern and irritation that he was just finding all this out now at the fundraiser.

"We know," said Lanie, "but you know Beckett. She's going to go through with this no matter what."

"So keep an eye out, Castl…" Ryan slapped Esposito.

"You know we're not allowed to talk to him or tell him anything about this." Ryan said between clenched teeth. "The Captain said he would break us down to traffic duty." Esposito rolled his eyes.

"I just want him to know we have their backs!"

"That's why _I'm _doing the talking," said Lanie, her voice less than hushed. The dean turned and looked at them, mouthing a 'sorry' and dismissed her irritable companions with a wave. They headed back in the direction they came from and she headed back over to the group looking at her watch again.

"I'll keep my eye on the audience for anything out of the ordinary." Castle muttered to Lanie loud enough for the guys to hear too."

"I'm so sorry, a bit of the problem, but nothing to worry about," she said a bit shrill and overconfidently. "I need to get you up front. Follow me, please." She walked briskly down the hallway, passing a several people going in the opposite direction through the hallway. Castle looked over their faces with the guys, watching for anyone familiar or looking out of place. The dean stopped to fix a loose tape on a third stairwell and pointed to the door directly across from it. "Go through these doors and you'll be right up front. I believe all of you, except Mr. Castle of course, are sitting in the reserved section up at the front." The trio each gave Castle a serious look as they passed by him one by one out the door. Castle couldn't hold back the little whimper of jealously when he saw the brief hand grasp between Esposito and Lanie before they stepped through the door into the noisy crowd.

The dean led Castle up the rest of the hallway up to the stage area. They crossed from stage right around some cloth covered tables, giving Castle a chance to look out over the filling audience seating. The stage projected light out over nearly the entire body of the auditorium making it wonderfully easy to see the audience. "The higher room lights aren't operating at this time, but at the request of the Captain we have one traveling light that will be sweeping across the darker portion of the room, including the closed off balcony areas just as a precaution. He also has a several men monitoring the accessible upstairs hallway also as a precaution." The dean stopped and turned to Castle. "I had no idea that the case was still active. Kate told me you've been instrumental in discovering clues to solving her mother's case, that she might never have discovered the answers she has without you," her voice carried a combination of strain and admiration. "Do me a favor, Mr. Castle."

"If I can," he stammered taken aback by the woman's directness and what Beckett had shared with her.

"Try not to get the both of you killed in your search for the truth. We have enough martyrs for justice. Don't let her drown in this."

Castle nodded a stunned yes. "I won't let anything happen to her."

"Mr. Castle, it's been my experience that you can't control what you can't see."

"Castle!" Kate's voice echoed from across the left hand side of the stage. "Where have you been? Hurry up and get over here before they start!" Castle headed in Beckett's direction pulled by her voice, her green sparkling eyes, and her direct order. He couldn't hold back the thought that he may have helped to awake two sleeping dragons—the true killer of Kate's mother and a very different side of Katherine Beckett.


	5. Chapter 5

**ENTER—STAGE RIGHT**

"Where have you been?" Beckett greeted him, as Castle finally reached the left hand side of the stage. "What were you looking at?"

"I was looking over the room. Why didn't you tell me about the letters?" The words were out of his mouth before he realized he had said them, us usual.

"It was the first time we had seen each other in two weeks, Castle. I didn't want to spoil the evening with some feeble death threats." Her tone had changed into cop-mode. "It's not important." But Castle didn't miss her first statement.

"The death threats or seeing each other again?" Castle's tone was serious in more way than one, and he watched Beckett's face carefully trying to assess her reaction. She smiled and then covered herself with a quick wave of her hand in the direction of the nearly full auditorium. "It's a room full of cops, Castle. Someone would have to be crazy to try something here. The Captain has it covered." She made no verbal reference to the other half of the question. Instead she stepped in closer, reached up, and fawned adjusting the knot she had done for him earlier, sliding her hand down the length of the tie in a smoothing motion. Castle's hand covered hers halfway down, holding it gently against his chest.

"You should have told me." His voice was soft but intense. Their eyes locked again and for an eternity of seconds, Beckett looked as if she was about to say something. Hesitation, her inner restraint, something held her back. He could feel her hand start tensing again under his; she was feeling pressured, retreating again,. "About the letters, I mean." His words gave her the banter escape she was searching for, and he could see she was very aware of the deliberate opening. He released her hand as she pulled it away, but her movement wasn't sudden or jerky. His now empty hand tightened, remaining in place where he had held hers. Her eyes sparkled making careful note of his action. Kate's face suddenly had that warmer, softer look again. She smiled with a look of relief and nervousness trying to gather up her best detective tone.

"The Captain has all the working lights in the place on throughout the evening, and the one traveling light to sweep across the balcony areas in the auditorium. There are also some plain clothes officers on duty. There's only one thing I couldn't swing myself." Kate leaned in toward Castle looking downright provocative as she whispered in his ear. "I couldn't find a new gown in green Kevlar to wear." Her voice switched from detective to flirty in a heartbeat, trying to lighten the mood again.

"Katherine Beckett, are you flirting with me?" Castle asked, raising his eyebrow and giving her his best teasing grin.

"No," she lied. "I think we're starting now." His eyes widened. "The event, Castle. Eyes, front and center." Castle turned around to see the Dean Parker stepping up to the podium to introduce the others on stage. His eyes searched the audience for anything suspicious on the floor or in the balcony areas as she spoke. He found himself following the traveling light on more than one sweep across the room pulling his attention away from the stage proceedings. Beckett took a step closer to him and his hand again automatically went to the small of her back as she leaned into him and whispered again.

"It's almost time… I'd rather wrestle a murderer to the floor than go out on that stage at the moment." The suggestion of Beckett wrestling posed a quirky grin on Castle's face, but with his usual expression, he dropped the subject with the reproachful look and eye roll Kate shot at him. The wordless exchange did help to relieve her anxiety, that he could see. She kept putting her hand over her eyes as if she was shielding them from the sun. "The traveling light is distracting," she said trying to change the subject and swinging her shielding hand out, pointing at the light's most recent direction. "It's giving me a headache. Is it bothering you, too?" Out of reflex, Castle looked up in the direction she pointed to just as the light crossed and thought he saw something moving in the empty balcony it passed over. _What was that?_

He rubbed his eyes briefly with his hand. Maybe the moving light _was_ messing with his eyes, too. "No. No, it's not really bothering me at all…" he paused, speaking to her distractedly and feeling an unpleasant thrill even though Beckett was leaning in against him for a third time. "Didn't she say that the all the balconies were closed for repairs?"

"Castle!" Beckett whispered at him sternly. "Dean Parker is introducing you."

"I thought I saw something moving up there," he whispered to Beckett, his eyes still fastened on the balcony.

"Castle, pay attention! Go!" She turned his gaze to the dean, with her finger on his chin, to redirect his eyes in the proper direction.

"So now…" the mike echoed across the room, "I'd like you to meet the person that has made all of this possible—mystery writer, Richard Castle." Hearing his name snapped his attention to the woman waiting at the podium introducing him. Undaunted, he walked out beaming his best Castle charm to the applauding audience, smiling as he recognized his mother's familiar whistle from somewhere in the back of the auditorium. He glanced up at the balcony following the slow moving light again. W_as that a reflection off something as the light passed by… _his attention returned back to the Dean, smiling graciously and shaking hands with her. He looked up again at the balcony briefly but saw nothing, as he removed his speech and the check from his pocket unfolding them deliberately on the podium. He smiled in appreciation for the continued applause while attempting to time his awareness to the traveling light as it crossed the right hand side of the balcony section again.

"I'd like to start with a sincere…" his words echoed to the back of the room and the light passed by again with no glint, "…thank you to everyone joining us here this evening… to honor the memory and contribution of Johanna Becket." _Wait a minute, there it was again…_ Castle continued, "I first came to know of the dedication of Johanna Becket… through my friendship with her amazing daughter…" _And again, what could be up there to reflect like that…_ "Detective Katherine Beckett of the NYPD… who has been recognized time and time again… for her own contributions in bringing the guilty to justice." _There it was again. Was that a different light or did the reflection move from the place it was at the last time…_ Castle glanced over at Beckett who was looking at him with a confused expression. Castle returned his gaze to the crowd and began speaking again. "It is their joint contribution… that has inspired me to ensure the legacy of Johanna Beckett's dream… and her never-ending quest to discover the truth… to defend the innocent… and to pursue justice." _Watch for it, watch for it, there it is again… It's definitely in a different place now. _Castle shot Beckett a nervous glance and looked up at the balcony hoping someone might follow his gaze.

"IN THE memory of Johanna Beckett," Castle wasn't aware that the alarm rising in him was starting to reflect in his voice as he spoke. "I am happy to initiate this scholarship in coordination with Dean Parker to…" _A reflection wouldn't move._ "ENSURE that another such woman sharing their special vision for justice not go…" _did someone just move up there…_ "UNREALIZED. I would also like to personally thank Detective Katherine Beckett for the dedication and commitment," _nothing, nothing_ _that time…_ "She has demonstrated for the city of New York… by presenting her personally with this check to begin our event this evening."

Castle forgot the mysterious light in the balcony the second he turned and saw Beckett waiting on the left of the stage. She seemed to be moving in slow motion in his direction. Her green eyes, echoed by the color of her dress, beamed and sparkled. The necklace she wore around her neck, adorned with her mother's ring, glinted in the stage lights as she continued walking across the stage toward him. She was smiling at him as she approached yet shooting him a confused expression over the rhythm of his speech. She was so beautiful tonight and he couldn't help but let the love for her show on his face as she came closer. Castle held out his hand to take hers, but his smile quickly faded as the traveling light's path moved across the air of the stage. He saw the flash of a red beam drawing a swift line to Beckett only a few steps away from him.

"Gun!" he shouted, running and blocking her body with his back to the audience, the bright red dot almost glowing on his tux as someone squeezed a trigger. Castle's arms surrounded Beckett and pulled her to the floor with him; the sound of the rifle and Beckett's scream moving again in slow motion as they slammed into the stage, hitting the floor.

Ryan and Esposito were on the stage in seconds directing everyone to stay down_. _Lanie yelled for an ambulance already at Beckett's side. No other shots followed and the auditorium suddenly erupted in chaos. "Balcony," Castle rasped at the guys, still out of breath from hitting the floor, "Stage right," he coughed. "It came from there." Coughing again, "I thought I saw something from the podium."

The captain was on the stage also behind Castle, kneeling down to hear him better. The captain searched the room nervously with his eyes while putting a reassuring hand on Castle's arm. "It's alright, Castle. Just take it easy. Don't move." The lack of following shots registered an all-clear, and the captain got back up and was shouting orders sending Esposito and Ryan, followed by several off-duty and plain clothes officers to swarm the balcony area and the building exits, asking others that came to the stage area to try and calm the panicked people down.

Lanie was kneeling down behind Beckett, holding cloth napkins on her arm. "You can let go of her now, Castle. It's just a flesh wound; it's not very deep. I've got her." Castle released his protective hug on Beckett only enough to allow Lanie's hand to press the napkins down on Kate's arm, but he didn't let go of her. Still pressed against her body and shaking, he pulled back only enough to look at her face, only inches from her lips.

"Are you okay?" he asked in a choked whisper.

"You saved my life…"

"I don't understand," said the captain.

Castle moved his hand from her arm up to cup her face, wiping the tear that was streaming down her cheek away with his thumb. "Of course. I love you…" Kate's mouth covered his before he could say anything more, and her arm flew out from under Lanie's hand and the bloodied napkins as she hugged Castle tightly. Rick moaned loudly as they kissed.

"What don't you understand, Sir?" asked Lanie. "He just saved her life, and they're in love!"

"No," glancing back and away from the couple. "I mean, if Becket has just a flesh wound, then where is all the blood coming from." The captain held out his blood covered hand out to her to see. Lanie looked and saw more on his knee and pant leg.

Castle's kiss weakened as the captain's words started to register in Beckett's head. She broke the kiss, pulling away from Castle's body. Kate reached down and opened Castle's jacket. His white shirt, vest, and the floor between them saturated in blood.

"Castle!" Kate shouted, her hand on his cheek and her face against his forehead. "Please Rick, don't leave me now…" Her words were the last thing he heard before losing consciousness.


End file.
